a capricious webcomic

Irritating Statements

June 13th, 2008

Posted in coffee, evolution, irritation, penguins, porsche, scientists, starbucks, Uncategorized

77 Responses

  1. George

    The English major works at Starbucks… LOL’s

  2. links for 2008-06-14 -- Chip’s Quips

    […] zoitz » Blog Archive » Irritating Statements That major and $3.50 will buy you… (tags: humor) […]

  3. Lou Dobbs

    That’s not english….

  4. Mars

    lol! sad yet funny!

  5. Chris

    Just seen your comic linked from reddit – after quick flick, I’m so impressed. Will be back for more!
    Thanks – keep up the good work. :)

  6. Pi


    You might wish to add support for https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/2933 link widgets, to conform to the HTML standard as well as be convenient. :)

  7. Elizabeth Greene

    Great comics mate.

  8. Tom

    Stephen King is an English Major, he seems to be doing fine.

  9. Jon

    I was joking at Starbuck’s once about them having to make up a word for a size bigger than grande–Venti. The Barista took offence: “It’s Italian for ‘thirty’ because it’s thirty ounces.” I asked what Italian for “ounces” was, but I don’t think he got the joke.

  10. phil

    Doesn’t Venti mean 20?

    Hilarious comic. Thanks!

    I was just at a friend’s house who was an English Major at the University of Chicago. When he couldn’t find a job using his degree he went to medical school and became a doctor.

  11. Kham

    Bring back the good old days when small was small and large was large.

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  13. rahulk

    Well,i am glad see this discussion about”Irritating Statements”.This makes me laugh and just seen your comic linked from reddit – after quick flick, I’m so impressed. Will be back for more!
    Thanks – keep up this type of good work.



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  14. asithi

    my english major friend ended up as a secretary.

  15. smarty7

    I irritated the porshe owner and a english major by it.

    And guess what they were superbly irritated

    Good work man!!!!!

  16. noe of yo buiseness


  17. noe of yo buiseness

    funny comics

  18. hefty

    this comic irritates me.

  19. mindbleach


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  21. english prof

    Speaking as an English professor, I’m irritated that Starbucks calls a medium a Grande. If you really want to annoy an English major, say “simplistic” when you mean “simple.”

  22. Anonymous

    cute penguin

  23. john

    i still don’t get this stigma. last time i checked, every industry requires writing.

    english majors become editors, writers and teachers.

    psychology majors make better fodder.


  24. ente

    thats great.


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  26. dyncon

    Like fingernails on a blackboard. Oh for the good old days when english was spoke!


  27. thatbobguy

    hey, english majors don’t drink over-priced crap coffee, or work in their money-grubbing establishments….we just get jobs that have absolutely nothing to do with an enlish major, and make every one else miserable, dammit!

  28. dizank

    so funny!!

  29. Steve

    um….ok. That is supposed to be funny?

  30. dougmmms

    I think that the English major would avoid using the passive voice (is called). :)

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  32. annonymous

    that is not funny it is rubbish

  33. JP

    Number three works on philosophy majors too.

  34. Jamie

    To be a humourless language student, Porsche should have two syllables since it’s a German word. But I’ll stick with the starbucks customer – using faux-authentic terms to try and up the cred of an american coffee chain is stupid.

  35. baxter

    vente is twenty for twenty ounces
    i dont know what italian for ounces is
    i refuse to say grande, dont get mad if teh barista says grande they may not be correcting you they are supposed to say it.

  36. Casey

    My friend is a Porsche guy, and I can’t express how true the two syllable thing really is. It drives him crazy.

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  38. cameron

    um, they’re prnguins.

  39. Daniel

    Actually, if you really want to irritate someone (like me) who works in a coffee shop, order something like you would at starbucks. because they’re the only place that bullshits their menu and forces you to bullshit them back.

  40. James

    As an English Major making six figures, I believe you have me on the wrong side of that counter.

    But on the RARE occasions when I visit Starbucks, it does irritate me that I need to order by their bullshit menu. That’s one of the (many) reasons my visits are so rare.

    I’d venture that most English Majors would be more irritated by the bullshit sizing than having to work there, but that’s just one opinion…

  41. Alex Ford

    Funny that no one else has said this but Porsche is a two syllable word if you ask any german speaker they will tell you that and I also know this cause it is the familys last name and the gradson of the guy who started the company told me how to say it once

  42. Anonymous

    …yeah, okay. All English majors don’t drink starbucks’ retardedly named coffee. Just to let you know.

  43. Jibson

    Was the joke how pretentious the starbucks workers are when it comes to the coffee words? I asked for a cappuccino once and the lady laughed and was like “I think you’re used to buying from gas stations. The correct term is frapuccino. They call it cappuccino because of the cap.”
    “Give me a cappuccino, bitch.”

  44. Charlie

    From what i understand this is saying that an english major is a useless qualification, some people cant seem to understand this. Maybe it should be changed to an Art degree or something.

  45. styrmir

    this is stupid

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  47. Meanjoe

    For a second there, I was like “hey! Taking English as a major offers one plenty of vocational skills, training for academia…etc.” Then I remembered “Shit, I’ve got work in the morning”.

  48. Anonymous

    i work for starbucks…
    when starbucks initally started, there was only short and tall (makes sense as far as sizes go) but when the tall wasn’t large enough, we came out with the grande (means large in spanish or italian)

    then when that wasn’t big enough, venti (20 in Italian, for 20 ounces). That’s the explanation for our absolutely bizarre sizes. Incidentally, the iced venti drink is actually 24 ounces.

    No, we don’t force you to order your drinks by “our bullshit standards.” You can say small, medium, or large, and i’ll understand you just fine and i don’t get annoyed at all. However, when i call it back to the person making the drink, i’m required to say tall, grande, or venti.

    also, we have frappucinos AND cappucinos. Whoever said “you must mean frappucino” is an idiot.

  49. Blair

    hahahahaha! that’s super funny. i have a degree in neurobiology and i worked at starbucks for 6 months!

  50. Redzion

    Hahaha nice

  51. Vic

    Hehe nice. Why penguins?

  52. Me

    i lol’d

  53. Anonymous Joe

    Screw Starbucks, if i wanted to get ass raped by coffee prices and weird words I would go to Columbia. XD

    OH, Hilarious comic btw.

  54. Anonymous

    Wait, does anyone realize that the science one is retarded? A theory is a guess (albeit one that has enough evidence to be widely accepted) no scientist would get irritated by that

  55. Anonymous

    As an English major who works at Starbucks, I’m going to go cry in a corner now.

  56. Barry

    Funny. Though, from the comments, it looks like the way to irritate English majors is to make a comment that their major is more likely to get them to work behind a Starbucks counter, rather than to get them a professional career. But some of us English majors can take a joke.

  57. shandooga@hotmail.com

    Neverlution is a fraud. Also, calling a small coffee “tall” is fraud.

  58. Ryan G

    Sad, but very very true. Especially the Porche-ahhh.

  59. Rosema'

    What do say to a Arts school Graduate?

    Can i have a burger with the lot please? :p

  60. tennyson

    the third works for a starbucks employee. unless you decided to drop the frame-to-frame parallelism and are insinuating that the customer is the english major being annoyed by the clerk being annoyed by the customer–because in that case the last frame would actually be funny.

  61. Anonymous

    I’m pretty young and not even in a college yet, but fortunately, I learned the sad truth about psychology before it was too late. Most end up in the service industry, “drawn by better salaries”. Doh. They definitely make better fodder than English majors.

  62. Amie

    This was great, and I plan on posting it at work.

    Which btw, funny thing…I work for Starbucks. I hate the names for the sizes, but whatever. When Someone comes in and says, “Can I get a large or a venti or grande or whatever you guys call it?” I simply reply with, “You CAN just say large, I do understand English.”

    It’s not rocket science, and it’s not over priced. You get what you pay for. Does no one appreciate quality and friendly customer service anymore? Sorry our menu offers too many options.

  63. Trae

    sorry but customer service at starbucks when it comes to the actual drink is a joke, The employees are courteous at best. More often than not my shots sit for 30+ seconds while the neophyte steams the milk. And I can get a less bitter tasting latte across the street at the joe muggs for sub $3 with my books-a-million discount card.
    The employees are courteous at best.

  64. christine

    hahahah those penguins are cute! more where these came from please!

  65. Anonymous

    hey, starbucks has great benefits.

  66. Greg

    Dead on! Hilarious.

  67. Anonymous

    it’s shopped. you can tell from the shadows

  68. Thank goodness

    You are kidding, right?

  69. Anonymous

    ahhh yay for a starbucks joke with penguins. carlos mencia for life

  70. haha

    English majors: I can’t afford Starbucks.

  71. Alex

    Majoring in English gets you working at Starbucks!

  72. rik

    as an english major, doctoral student in education, I am now relegated to making art for a living…there is no justice…and I wouldn’t walk into a starbucks to order their pretentiously priced and horrid coffee.

  73. pop

    lol English is such a bullshit major.

  74. Anonymous

    awesome evolution is a theory stupid people need to be reminded of this evolution has 20000 holes its such a crackpot

  75. Michel

    Too Funny Man! Reminds me of another joke: What do you do when a Musician shows up at your door? Answer: You take the pizza, you give him the money, you close the door!

  76. sandrar

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

  77. ty

    I don’t drink starbucks because they’re against my ganj-smoking habits.

    oh and their coffee sucks